


Hear my prayers

by SauleMarron19427



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Tag, Fix-It, M/M, Matchmaker Jack, Post-Episode: s13e06 Tombstone, Sort Of, Supportive Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 01:18:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16460705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SauleMarron19427/pseuds/SauleMarron19427
Summary: When Jack reveals to Sam he can hear prayers - Dean prayer's, to Castiel - it leads to an heart-to-heart between the two brothers. Sam is already aware of his brothers' feelings for the late angel, and he shouldn't have to hide it.And when Cas finally gets back, well... All they need is a little push towards each other.





	Hear my prayers

“Is this why Dean is mean to me?” Jack asked after diner.

Tonight again, Sam had to watch his brother eat without much a glance in the kid’s direction. When they weren’t on a hunt, Dean was in his room all the time and the only moments Sam was seeing him was when he grabbed beer – _loads_ of beer – in the kitchen.

He glanced at Jack, raising an eyebrow, asking him silently to elaborate.

“Because he thinks Castiel is dead because of me?”

“Why do you say that?” Sam responded.

“That’s what Dean said.”

“He told you that?” Sam asked, worried. “Did he threaten you again?”

Since the youngest learned his brother had said to Jack he’d killed him if he had to, he had tried to be there each time those two were in the same room. And he was pretty sure Dean hadn’t talk to Jack alone since then. Apparently, it was not the case. _Good job, Sam_ , he thought angrily.

“Dean didn’t tell me anything. I think he was talking to Castiel. I think he was… praying.”

“Praying?” Sam repeated. “Are you telling me you can hear prayers?”

“I can’t hear all prayers. I don’t think so. But I can hear Dean’s. Maybe it’s because his room is not far away from mine? Or maybe because he talks about me?” Jack tried to explain, but he was clearly confused. “I don’t hear your prayers, for example.”

“I don’t pray.” Sam said, more roughly than intended. “But it’s not about me. Can you not listen when you hear him?”

“Do you think he’d be angry if he knew?”

“Honestly, yeah” Sam responded without hesitation. “Prayers are kind of private and I don’t think Dean – or _anyone_ , actually – would like them to be overheard by someone else.”

“Oh. I see. Prayers are a part of the human privacy and if Dean knew, he would be upset.”

Sam nodded; glad Jack had understood what he was saying. He was still adjusting to humans things – after all, he technically wasn’t one mouth old yet – but he was picking up things fast.

“But…” Jack continued. “Wouldn’t Dean be more upset if he didn’t know? I mean, if I can’t block his prayers and I don’t tell him, I think it might be worse. Especially if he found out later.”

“It’s possible.” Sam admitted.

“So we should tell him.” Jack nodded, determined.

“Now?” the hunter asked, a brow raised.

“The sooner the better.” Jack nodded again. He suddenly looked very sad. “He’s so unhappy. And that’s because of me – even if I don’t want it to be true. He misses Castiel, and if it wasn’t for me, he would still be alive.”

“We don’t know that.” Sam objected. “Lucifer was after us for years. But that’s not the subject. I’m gonna find Dean.”

He got up, pressing the kid’s shoulder before heading in the direction of Dean’s room. He knocked several time, but no one answered so he opened the door. His brother was in his bed, his eyes closed and listening to music.

“Dean?” he called.

“What?” his brother snapped, without opening his eyes.

“Jack needs to talk to you, it’s important.” Sam said, but Dean only snorted. “It’s about Cas.”

It wasn’t the exact truth, but it managed to get a reaction out of Dean. He frowned a little, but he went back in the kitchen, where Jack was waiting.

“So, what is it?” he asked. “Sam said you wanted to tell me something about Cas.”

When Jack glanced in Sam’s direction, the hunter nodded reassuringly.

“I can hear your prayers.” Jack said bluntly, and the oldest Winchester froze. “Sam told me it could be considered as a breach of privacy, so I wanted to tell you.”

He paused, looking a little unsure.

“I’m sorry. I know you think Castiel is dead because of me, and you’re probably right. But I never wanted that to happen. My mother told me he would protect me. And he did. But I never wanted _anyone_ to die for me. And now I know how much you love him and how much you miss him. And I’m sorry. If I could bring him back, I would, but…”

He shook his head, closing his eyes with a sight.

“I’m sorry.” he repeated before leaving the kitchen.

Sam was about to follow him, but Dean was still in the middle of the kitchen, frozen.

“Dean?” he said gently, but his brother didn’t respond, obviously shaken. “Maybe you should sit down a little.”

The oldest nodded, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He didn’t say anything, and Sam was about to go see Jack when he finally opened his mouth.

“He heard everything.” he croaked. “ _Everything._ ”

“Yes.” Sam confirmed. “Even when you said Cas was dead because of him.”

He couldn’t help the accusation in his voice, and it seemed to snap Dean out of whatever he was feeling.

“That’s not true.” Dean said. “I mean, I said that, yes. But I know it’s not his fault. It’s just… When I look at the kid, all I see is everything we’ve lost. I blame him because it’s easier.”

“Easier to what?” Sam asked.

“To acknowledge the fact that Cas is dead because of me.” Dean whimpered. “I could have help him; and instead I – I didn’t believe him, when he said Jack would be good. And he was right, the kid’s good. We could have protected Kelly here, and Lucifer wouldn’t have found us. Cas would be alive, Mum would be here too. But I didn’t. And I’ve lost him, _again_.”

“Dean…” Sam said.

“Don’t. You know I’m right. I lost him, and he’ll never come back. He’s _gone_. And I never told him. I never told him that I –”

“That you’re in love with him.” Sam completed. “He knew, Dean. There’s no way he didn’t know.”

“Maybe. But I didn’t tell him. And now, he’s _gone_. And I can’t – I can’t do this anymore Sammy. I can’t watch the people I love _die_.”

He paused, closing his eyes.

“How long?” Sam asked.

He didn’t know why he was asking, but Dean probably needed to talk about it. He probably needed to talk about _everything_.

“Always.” his brother said.

“Really?” Sam gasped.

“You sound surprise.” Dean said with a fake laugh.

“Well, I am. Sort of. I knew there was _something_ between you two during the apocalypse. Your profound bound and all that. And I was sure you had feelings for him after Purgatory. But even back then? I mean, you stayed with Lisa for a year.”

“We weren’t together.” Dean corrected him. “When Cas flew back upstairs, I decided to honor your last wish and to have a _normal life_. But I couldn’t be with her. So I told her, and we kind of became roommates after that. I was doing the cooking, I was taking care of Ben after school, and she took me in when I was at my lowest. She even asked me to tell her everything. And I did – even about Cas. She was a good friend. I miss her, sometimes. And God, I really loved that kid. But Crowley happened and, well, the rest is history, like they say.”

“Are you telling me you went live with Lisa because I _told_ you to? Despite your feelings for Cas?”

“I guess” Dean shrugged. “But Cas was playing sheriff in Heaven, so it didn’t matter. And now… I don’t know if Jack told you, but I’m not only praying to Cas. I prayed to Chuck, and even to Amara. I thought… She brought back Mum, didn’t she? So I thought maybe she could bring back Cas too. But apparently, being on vacation equals ignoring everything else. Bastards.”

He sighed again, then got up.

“Tell the kid thanks for me.”

“I can still hear you.” Sam warned him. “He doesn’t know if he can help it.”

“I don’t mind.” Dean shrugged before leaving the kitchen.

oOo

Cas was back since two hours, and Dean still couldn’t believe it. They were in the kitchen, the four of us. Dean was preparing another pot of coffee, Sam was on his laptop looking for a potential case and Jack was telling Cas what he could do with his powers.

The angel was smiling, nodding every now and then, but he was also glancing at Dean every few minutes. When Jack was done, he turned fully to Dean.

“Are you alright, Dean?” he asked, frowning. “You didn’t talk much since I get back.”

“I’m fine.” the hunter said with a smile.

“Dean missed you.” Jack added, making Dean tense.

They hadn’t talk about the prayers after this one time, a few weeks ago, but the hunter didn’t stop. So the kid probably heard him. And maybe he would –

“He prayed to you when you were gone.” Jack revealed.

– talk about it in front of Cas. He closed his eyes, barely aware that Sam was exiting the kitchen and taking the kid with him, leaving him alone with Cas.

“Dean? Is Jack telling the truth?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, apparently he can hear prayers. He doesn’t know why, though. Maybe you could talk to him about that, help him a little.”

“You’re trying to change the subject.” Cas observed.

“Maybe.” Dean conceded. “And maybe we should drop it.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re back. There’s no need to talk about it! You were gone, and yeah, I was pretty messed up. But you’re here, now, so it doesn’t matter.”

“ _Of course_ it matters.” Cas countered. “Your well-being matter to me, Dean, you know that.”

“I’m fine” the hunter repeated.

He was now facing the counter, waiting for Cas to go somewhere and to leave him alone, because he needed to _collect himself_. But the angel didn’t leave; on the contrary, he approached him, pressing his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Dean…”

The angel sighed a little, and the hunter felt it on his neck. He tensed, about to remind Cas of the personal space rule.

“I’m sorry I died.” Cas said. “It was never my intention to leave you, Dean. I would never leave you, if I had the choice. And I will do everything I can to _never_ leave you again.”

“You can’t say that.” he whispered.

“Why not? I would promise it if I could, but we both know I can’t. But it’s the truth. These last few years, I wanted nothing more than to stay here with you.”

Dean suddenly turned on his heels, grabbed Cas by the waist and kissed him hard. Because Cas just said what he wanted to hear _for years_. Because he was back and there was no way he was wasting more time with him.

“I love you.” he said when the kiss ended.

“I know.” Cas answered with a smile. “But it’s good to hear it.”

“Did you just Han Solo’d me?” Dean gasped, and Cas gave him another smile, bigger. “You did! You little shit, I can’t believe you –”

Cas interrupted him with another kiss, swallowing his words. And another, and another. Dean kissed him back, because he _could_. After all these years, he could.

“I love you too.” Cas said before leaning in for another kiss.

 _Thank you, kiddo_ , Dean prayed, still kissing Cas.

oOo

In his room, Jack smiled, happy for his father and Dean.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! :)


End file.
